CRAPstone

Ok capstone, you are pissing me off. I have no idea how to even go about starting you, and I can't even imagine how I'm going to get 25 pages out of all this stupid research shit I've been busting my ass with. Not only do I have to write you, but I have to annotate all your fucking sources because my major is a piece of shit that hates everyone.

On a side note: you have made me realize that I'm really interested in the study of the sex-industry as a long term thing. So, by chance, if/when I do apply for grad school I will be looking into the gender studies department and can happily study strippers and prostitutes for the rest of my life. Just kidding, I've recently (as of 30 seconds ago when I wrote that last line) had an epiphany...even if I get my PhD in gender studies, what the fuck am I going to do with that? I do not plan on becoming a teacher because that is the most unappealing job to me, and I don't want to work in an office setting the rest of my life...so, basically, even if I decide to go back to school for another four years, I'm still screwed when I get out. What would really make me happy is to have my own Fitness Pole Dancing studio...but since I don't even know how to do that, I doubt I could teach people.

I guess I could become a pleasure party specialist...although I have no idea how to do that either. One of Barb's students became that then came to class and educated us (and she's also teaches pole dancing). I can just hear my parents bragging to people:

Some parent of someone I went to school with: Oh, and what is it your kids do now? Where did they go to school again?

Mom: Josh went to Calpoly and is now working as an engineer for At&t in LA with great promotion opportunities.

Parent: And your daughter?

Mom: Jessica went to Monterey Bay.

Parent: Now, what school is there?

Mom: It's a cal state on the old army base Fort Ord.

Parent: Oohhh, and has she graduated?

Mom: Yes, and now she owns her own fitness studio.

Parent: Really? How interesting, what kind of fitness?

Mom: Pole dancing.

Parent: You're daughter teaches stripping?

Mom: Yes, and she also sells sex toys.

Parent: hmm...you must be so proud.

And then my mom will be all embarrassed and think I'm such a disgrace. I can't even imagine how this conversation would go for my dad. Why did I have to be the unmotivated one in the family that just wants to get married and have babies which is never going to happen anyway?

And this is all because of my stupid capstone that I am procrastinating and stressing about, and I fear I won't get done, and it will turn out to be a piece of crap. So, thank you crapstone for ruining my life.