Ok capstone, you are pissing me off. I have no idea how to even go about starting you, and I can't even imagine how I'm going to get 25 pages out of all this stupid research shit I've been busting my ass with. Not only do I have to write you, but I have to annotate all your fucking sources because my major is a piece of shit that hates everyone.
On a side note: you have made me realize that I'm really interested in the study of the sex-industry as a long term thing. So, by chance, if/when I do apply for grad school I will be looking into the gender studies department and can happily study strippers and prostitutes for the rest of my life. Just kidding, I've recently (as of 30 seconds ago when I wrote that last line) had an epiphany...even if I get my PhD in gender studies, what the fuck am I going to do with that? I do not plan on becoming a teacher because that is the most unappealing job to me, and I don't want to work in an office setting the rest of my life...so, basically, even if I decide to go back to school for another four years, I'm still screwed when I get out. What would really make me happy is to have my own Fitness Pole Dancing studio...but since I don't even know how to do that, I doubt I could teach people.
I guess I could become a pleasure party specialist...although I have no idea how to do that either. One of Barb's students became that then came to class and educated us (and she's also teaches pole dancing). I can just hear my parents bragging to people:
Some parent of someone I went to school with: Oh, and what is it your kids do now? Where did they go to school again?
Mom: Josh went to Calpoly and is now working as an engineer for At&t in LA with great promotion opportunities.
Parent: And your daughter?
Mom: Jessica went to Monterey Bay.
Parent: Now, what school is there?
Mom: It's a cal state on the old army base Fort Ord.
Parent: Oohhh, and has she graduated?
Mom: Yes, and now she owns her own fitness studio.
Parent: Really? How interesting, what kind of fitness?
Mom: Pole dancing.
Parent: You're daughter teaches stripping?
Mom: Yes, and she also sells sex toys.
Parent: hmm...you must be so proud.
And then my mom will be all embarrassed and think I'm such a disgrace. I can't even imagine how this conversation would go for my dad. Why did I have to be the unmotivated one in the family that just wants to get married and have babies which is never going to happen anyway?
And this is all because of my stupid capstone that I am procrastinating and stressing about, and I fear I won't get done, and it will turn out to be a piece of crap. So, thank you crapstone for ruining my life.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Commencement Crap
So, I finally admitted to my mom today that I had yet to buy my graduation announcements because I couldn't fathom spending nearly $100 dollars for a set of 25. Granted it was my parents' money...but still. You see, it take like 4-6 weeks for the announcements to be mailed to you, so I was worried she'd be upset. On the contrary, she was pretty chill. She said that she didn't really like the idea of mailing them out and making everyone feel obligated to send money, so we're going to do things a little less traditional and a little more personal.
I was also asked what I wanted for graduation - I didn't have the heart to say I wanted that $300-$400 "exercise" pole that spins freely in either direction. Oh man, I will save up for that one day. Instead, I played the conservative and just said I wanted to live at home for free until I figured out my next step...which then begged the question: what are your plans after graduation?
Umm...good question mom. I told her most of the prospects I wrote in my earlier post - aside from the pole dancing classes of course. One day I'll have to break down and inform her of my dream to teach pole dancing, but probably not while I'm living under her roof.
I know...boring, boring, boring...blah, blah, blah...and yet, this is what my life has come to. I wish I could just take off, but my parents have never done anything horrible enough for me to repay them by vanishing and causing them pain. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so considerate.
I was also asked what I wanted for graduation - I didn't have the heart to say I wanted that $300-$400 "exercise" pole that spins freely in either direction. Oh man, I will save up for that one day. Instead, I played the conservative and just said I wanted to live at home for free until I figured out my next step...which then begged the question: what are your plans after graduation?
Umm...good question mom. I told her most of the prospects I wrote in my earlier post - aside from the pole dancing classes of course. One day I'll have to break down and inform her of my dream to teach pole dancing, but probably not while I'm living under her roof.
I know...boring, boring, boring...blah, blah, blah...and yet, this is what my life has come to. I wish I could just take off, but my parents have never done anything horrible enough for me to repay them by vanishing and causing them pain. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so considerate.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Confession:
So, about a year ago I started a blog under a different name and set up an email for it. I wrote one post then kinda just got over it. However, I really liked the concept of that blog and wanted to start it up again...only...I can't remember my email address or password for it. Totally lame.
I wanna be a stripper...
Well, not really. I don't think I could ever have the balls to actually take my clothes off for a bunch of people despite the appealing nature of the job. Depending on where a dancer works, she'll either make bank or barely make by. I think it would be a fun job, but certainly not something I could confide to my parents about. As graduation soon approaches, I need to start thinking about my future seriously.
I can't get a real job for the first few months after graduation, because I have so many obligations until August. (ie. babysitting my g'parents for 3 weeks, bro's graduation, other bro's graduation across the country, and g'parents 60th anniversary party) I can't very well start on a career path only to request so many days off within the first three months. Oye. This will be a good time to think about my future and start getting everything in order. Meanwhile, I'll have a somewhat demeaning job at a candy store, which will be a great source of income while living at home, but not so great when all the old high school people show up and start the small town gossip about what I'm doing after college.
Anyway, here are the options I have come up with thus far:
(1) While working at the candy shop, invest in pole dancing lessons to the point of expert level. After the summer, move up to Monterey (where there is no pole dancing classes available) and start my own studio. Of course there is a lot more to think about, like funding and actually having the body to pull this career choice off.
(2) Work in the candy shop while applying to graduate school, then pursuing my doctorate in anthropology studying the sex industry. Using the candy shop money to take pole dancing lessons and work my way through graduate school teaching pole dancing wherever I end up for school. (Hopefully in Iowa because I like their graduate program and I would finally be able to spend time with my 3 sisters, get to know them, and have a place to live)
(3) Work at the candy shop until I can get a job on a cruise ship and be shipped off somewhere.
(4) Apply for a job in linguistics on the Navy Base where my parents work. (Knowing my parents are pretty influential and have some pull around there, my last name will most likely get me one of the openings) They would pay for graduate study (probably not in strippers though) and I would be shipped around the US to different base locations. Kinda unappealing in that sense.
(5) Join the Coast Guard.
I can't get a real job for the first few months after graduation, because I have so many obligations until August. (ie. babysitting my g'parents for 3 weeks, bro's graduation, other bro's graduation across the country, and g'parents 60th anniversary party) I can't very well start on a career path only to request so many days off within the first three months. Oye. This will be a good time to think about my future and start getting everything in order. Meanwhile, I'll have a somewhat demeaning job at a candy store, which will be a great source of income while living at home, but not so great when all the old high school people show up and start the small town gossip about what I'm doing after college.
Anyway, here are the options I have come up with thus far:
(1) While working at the candy shop, invest in pole dancing lessons to the point of expert level. After the summer, move up to Monterey (where there is no pole dancing classes available) and start my own studio. Of course there is a lot more to think about, like funding and actually having the body to pull this career choice off.
(2) Work in the candy shop while applying to graduate school, then pursuing my doctorate in anthropology studying the sex industry. Using the candy shop money to take pole dancing lessons and work my way through graduate school teaching pole dancing wherever I end up for school. (Hopefully in Iowa because I like their graduate program and I would finally be able to spend time with my 3 sisters, get to know them, and have a place to live)
(3) Work at the candy shop until I can get a job on a cruise ship and be shipped off somewhere.
(4) Apply for a job in linguistics on the Navy Base where my parents work. (Knowing my parents are pretty influential and have some pull around there, my last name will most likely get me one of the openings) They would pay for graduate study (probably not in strippers though) and I would be shipped around the US to different base locations. Kinda unappealing in that sense.
(5) Join the Coast Guard.
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